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For Women & their families who have suffered with Pre Eclampsia, Eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and related conditions.
 
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 Going 40+

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mouse
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PostSubject: Going 40+   Wed 01 Oct 2008, 8:32 pm

I realise how lucky I am to be worrying about this but am not sure what to do.
Luckily (fingers crossed) everything seems to be going really well this time round - I'm 35+ weeks with v little oedema, no protein & BP is behaving well. The growth scan at 32 weeks gave an estimated weight of 5lb!! Yasmin was only 4lb 9oz at nearly 36 weeks!
My consultant is keen for me to go to 41+ weeks for a VBAC. I feel happy going to term & really want to avoid a cesarean if I can but I am bit scared about going past 40 weeks wrt placental function & the baby. I feel like we should be so grateful to get to 40 weeks that I don't want to risk everything just to get a natural delivery (I did feel like I missed out the first time round).
Any advice/thoughts would be really welcome
Love
xx

PS I'm sure I'm having a wobble because this time last time round I was in hospital & the equivalent of tomorrow I got HELLP & the day after Yasmin was born. Will feel good to get thru to next week. xx
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Liz Pidgley
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Wed 01 Oct 2008, 10:11 pm

Hi Mouse,

I think you have just hit the nail on the head. Reaching ones gestation where troubles have previously hit is like running the gauntlet again.
Your perceptions may have changed again about VBAC by next week, but if they dont, think about playing each day as it comes.
Your baby may have his/her own ideas and all plans go out of the window anyway! With each day that passes and all signs being stable, there is no reason why you couldnt go for it. When I say signs and stable, I am talking about the physical and emotional signs. If you are getting so twitched for whatever reason, then your wishes need to be catered for.

Hang in there Mouse, you are doing a grand job!
Warmest Wishes
Liz

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Laurie
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Thu 02 Oct 2008, 7:40 am

Hiya
Can only echo what Liz says. Go with what feels right for you, but remember your baby may have other plans!

My consultant allowed me to go to 42 +3 with Jim. In fact, I first went into labour at 41 weeks, but the little blighter just hung in there. Once that happened I did have to go in for traces every day, and the registrar looked daggers at me every time (SHE wanted me to have a section at 38 weeks because of the old scar, which was 7 years old by that time), but the consultant was absolutely firm, and even got quite exasperated with her - said, "We've done the traces. The baby's fine, the mother's fine. No caesar if she doesn't want it."

And in the end, after 10 days of on and off labour, nearly two of which were full on, I had to have a section anyway, as Jim started to get distressed (trace went down, meconium etc).

All in all, I was so glad that the consultant was happy to negotiate with me. I'm sure his preferred course would have been section at 38 weeks, too, but he tried extremely hard to give me the experience I wanted. I was prepared to have the extra monitoring in order to achieve VBAC - it's what I wanted more than anything else. So when the time came that he did start having concerns for the baby, I really trusted that his decision was for the best. Even then, he gave me the option of trying for another hour, but he said that if I didn't make it, it would have to be an emergency procedure and Pete couldn't come in with me.

I think it was his confidence that gave me confidence, and also because I had had a real scare at 22 weeks and thought that I was going to lose the baby altogether. I was so, so, so happy to have got past that 28 weeks viability thing, and then 35 weeks when I had Joe, that maybe I was blind to any other dangers.

Maybe you could talk with them about the possibility of going in for regular monitoring after 40 weeks - to keep everyone positive?
xLaurie
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mouse
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Thu 02 Oct 2008, 7:52 pm

Thanks Liz & Laurie.
Laurie your story really helped & I think the option of increased monitoring after 40 weeks would definitely put my mind at rest. The registrar said she would only let me go to 40 weeks for a VBAC & then the consultant said 41+ which threw me a bit. I think at the moment as there is no plan for the next 4 weeks (it was like they were seeing if I would get this far & then decide) I have no idea what sort of monitoring they were planning.
My husband will come with me to my 36 week appointment next week so we can discuss things fully with the consultant & hopefully come away with a plan we all feel happy with.
Thanks again
xx
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Fri 03 Oct 2008, 8:41 am

Something else just occurred to me about VBAC, labour and everything else.

Those who have come from the other site might know my views on labour now, having done it just the once (well, once ten times longer than most...). Very Happy

But you know, I did really have a very painful and unpleasant labour in the end, and there was probably a real danger that I could have felt greatly disappointed afterwards, and even a bit traumatized - sustained pain over days (he was posterior, and I had an undiagnosed degenerated disc at L5/S1, so this was really, really agonizing, unremitting back pain along with all the 'ordinary' pain of contractions - plus his head was over the 90% centile, which they hadn't told me) with, apparently, nothing to show for it because I 'failed' to deliver him myself. Also, I had that b****y registrar bleating that I had put my baby at risk, and sitting there smug as anything when I finally had to agree to a caesar. Could have slapped her. You'd think that nothing could be as bad as PE meltdown, but I do remember thinking, probably as I was throwing up all over the midwife for the x time, that I was probably more frightened then than I had been when I had Joe. Maybe that was because when I had Joe, it was all completely out of my control and I had completely to surrender or die, whereas with Jim I had fought long and hard for the control and ended up thinking, "What have I done?"

Those twin demons, guilt and grief (because I didn't get my VBAC and I wasn't able to "do it right" this time), were circling round me, I'm sure, in the days after Jim's birth. I was incredibly lucky that I had Denise from APEC at that time, and that I had been through my befriending training because I was able to recognize the dangers. And, as I said before, I was incredibly, incredibly lucky with my consultant and my midwife, who made the whole experience of the section so worthwhile and so non-threatening. He didn't allow the registrar in because she was winding me up so much, and he did the section himself. It was a proper birth, even if I didn't push him out - Pete was allowed to hold him instantly, then Pete put him on my tummy, there was humour and love in equal measures. I was completely unaware of there being any urgency.

Much, much later I realised that the compassion and care that I was shown the second time round was what the team wanted for me the first time round, too, but the shock and the fear stopped me from understanding this at the time. The best that they could do when I had Joe was for the anaesthetist to make small talk with me, and the midwife to hold me and stroke my hair. For years I felt angry that they did this, or didn't do that, without recognising that the things that were missing (seeing my baby, and knowing what sex it was particularly) were missed because they were trying to save our lives.

I think this is why I always want to stress to everyone, no matter what their birth experience, that it was a real, valid and precious experience. It was the moment you brought your child into the world - feeling that was less valid or less precious because it wasn't what you were 'sold', or feeling that you are less of a woman because you didn't do things 'right' is the most pernicious, horrible feeling.

I'm glad I went through labour, not because it makes me more successful as a woman, which it absolutely doesn't, but because it made me understand that what really matters is that we don't see the traumas that happen to us as reflecting in anyway on our self-worth.

huge love
laurie
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mouse
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Fri 03 Oct 2008, 7:01 pm

Thanks so much Laurie for an insight into how it felt for you. I hope I haven't stirred things up for you too much (although I'm really glad you're so positive now about 2 such difficult & painful situations).
That registrar sounds like an absolute nightmare, hope she isn't a consultant now!
Lots of love
xxx
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Laurie
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Fri 03 Oct 2008, 8:48 pm

No worries, hon, it was a long, long time ago. Laughing Glad that it's helped!
xx
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Sat 11 Oct 2008, 7:06 pm

Had my appointment on Thurs & they agreed sweep from 39 weeks, twice weekly CTG monitoring from 40 weeks & then possible ARM at 41+3 & a tiny bit of synto to see if I get going, if not then will have a section.
The registrar was lovely & really listened to us & so we both feel really happy with the plan.
Hopefully it will all be academic as the baby is really really low & I hope things will get going sooner rather than later.
Just can't believe I'm nearly 37 weeks - feel v lucky
xxx
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Nicki D
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Sat 11 Oct 2008, 9:08 pm

That's briliant Mouse, I'll be looking out for a notice on the New Arrivals board over the next few weeks!

Here's hoping that you get the birth experience you're hoping for, it really does sound as if you're being listened to and that your wants and needs are being taken into account.

Take care

Nicki
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Liz Pidgley
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:59 pm

Hi Mouse,

Thats great news.
I too look forward to a new arrivals post - and hoping it will be 'wobble free'!

Warm Wishes
Liz

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Laurie
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PostSubject: Re: Going 40+   Sun 12 Oct 2008, 11:29 am

Sounds like a good plan - because you've been involved in making it! I really hope it goes well for you, and perhaps having less stress because you know what's coming next could help your body just get on with it.
Really looking forward to your news when you are able/ready to post it!
Take care, well done for getting this far and we'll hear from you soon I'm sure.
xL
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