Pre Eclampsia support

For Women & their families who have suffered with Pre Eclampsia, Eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and related conditions.
 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
thaiba2000
Forum Friend
avatar

Posts : 130
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 34
Location : Bedfordshire, Luton

PostSubject: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:26 am

That is the question....ive been finding so difficult!
Arrrgh its driving me up the wall now cos ive already had my pre-concepion appointment and everything was positive but now the "what ifs..." are filling my had with poo. I really want another baby but im just so nervous..... this preg will defo be different to my other 2 because i will be on Low dose aspirin and calcium (reccomended by Catherine), i wont be working full time and i know what to expect and what support i will need BUT...BUT...

I did write a letter to Catherine asking a few random questions, a very informal letter and i did aplogise to her for that. She gave me such a great letter back answering the questions i had and also gave me a copy of the letter of what she sent to my gp.

Remember i was telling you that my GP wouldnt give me the refferral and said "we all know the the prevention of PE is delivery of the baby.." and i started crying cos PE just isnt that simple and he just wasnt understanding why i needed to see a specialist. Well, when he got sent the letter he mustve had a good read and thought "oh so PE isnt about just delivering the baby..."his secretary called me on behalf of the doctor and said "Doctor told me to tell you that as soon as you get pregnant contact him so he can start treatment straightaway".

In my heart of hearts i want to have another baby but i dont see my husband being positive about it and it kind of mskes me feel a bit...alone. Dont get me wrong, my hubby is the best and always wants my happiness but everytime ask him about trying for a baby he puts it off....

I know this decision is mine and only mine to take but i need help in the decison making proccess....any advice or even a kick up the backside might do Wink

Thanks guys
Back to top Go down
View user profile
smithjackie419
Forum Friend


Posts : 24
Join date : 2010-07-08

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Sun 22 Aug 2010, 8:21 am

Oh I've just read this and I really feel for you! (I'd already replied to your pm) I know excalty how you feel although I haven't been for pre conception advice as my daughter is still only 36 weeks or 9 weeks corrected and still in the neonatal unit. But I'm definately going to persue an appointment with a specialist in PE and for me I certainly haven't thrown in the towel for having another baby.

Although I haven't had the full medical pro's and cons and I haven't looked into how aspirin can make a difference my gut instinct is to try again - hearing Liz say that she has only known one lady to be adviced not to have another makes me even more positive about the possibility.

I can only go by my personal feelings but I know that if i were to get pregnant again I know the risk to my health would be reduced by the constant monitoring so as soon as PE gets out of control the baby will be delivered. The real worry for me is how soon PE sets in - with Evie it started at around 26 weeks and I managed to get to 27 weeks and 1 day before I had to have an emergency c section. Having said this I wasn't on aspirin or had any contact with a PE specialist so they may well be the secret weapon I needed. I'm realistic that I will get it again if I have another baby its just at what stage - if I'm told its likely to be earlier even with aspirin and other drugs then I'll probably be reluctant to try but then I could have that elusive full term pregnancy -with PE you just don't know.

feel free to pm me when you like xxx

Back to top Go down
View user profile
thaiba2000
Forum Friend
avatar

Posts : 130
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 34
Location : Bedfordshire, Luton

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Sun 22 Aug 2010, 11:41 am

Hey smithjackie419,

I just PMd you too but im sorry if it didnt make sense lol, my daughter decided to tickle me for some reason. Have a look at the PRE-ECLAMPSIA IN THE NEWS folder of the forum, ive posted a couple of links on their about Low dose Aspirin. With my other two aspirin was never mentioned and there i was just trusting whoever looked after me... I know alot of people who will tell you that aspirin DOES make a difference but i guess different people will have different reactions to it. If you want you can read my whole FIGHT WITH MY MIND about having a 3rd baby, im sure you will be able to relate http://pesupport.friendhood.net/ask-liz-f3/i-want-another-baby-help-me-t198.htm. There is post by someone called BERRYLICIOUS on there too and she had a her 3rd baby. She was also in the same position as us.

I think you shouldnt let this get in the way of enjoying your new arrival. I know its hard because i know how it is...i craved for another child as soon as my daughter was born..i couldnt control what i was feeling and people were just telling me im mad which made me more adamant. Ive also been obsessing about this issue for so long that i dont think ive enojyed my time with the 2 children i have... Its just at the moment its my husband that doesnt seem to be helping me. If he were to say "no i dont want anymore" then i would have gone with that decsion but everytime i ask him, with no eye contact whatsoever he would say "i dont know....". He isnt even willing to talk about it with me so at the moment im suffereing on my own... Sad

Definatly make an appointment to see a specialist. Would you be able to get your pregnancy notes from the hospital? You dont have but I took all my pregnancy notes with me to see the spcialist, they included blood tests i had while pregnant, scans, scan results and all details about my stay on bedrest at hosptal which included all my BP readings and protein readings etc etc. They told me my chances of reoccurance was 30% but with the help of aspirin it will be reduced down to 15%....

Have a look at those links hon, take care

Back to top Go down
View user profile
smithjackie419
Forum Friend


Posts : 24
Join date : 2010-07-08

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Sun 22 Aug 2010, 8:38 pm

Hi

I'll definately have a look at those links. I feel excalty the same as you - I will always wonder what would have happened if I had been prescribed aspirin for my daughter - I do believe it could have delayed the onset of severe PE but like you I trusted those looking after me and believed they knew best................

My partner is very much the same - although he is adamant no more - he won't discuss it and I feel that just makes it worse, as I feel I need to talk about this desire - I crave another child already!! you would think considering my pregnancy was horrendous I would be thinking sterilization but no I'm thinking when can I see the preconception consultant to get the ball rolling. I'm hoping that if my partner comes along to speak to a PE specailist he will change his mind and realise that a 3rd child isn't out of the question.

I'll pm you my mobile so you can text me when your online and we can have a chat - nice to know there is someone in the same boat as me! xx
Back to top Go down
View user profile
joolsw1
Forum Friend
avatar

Posts : 13
Join date : 2010-08-16

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Mon 23 Aug 2010, 9:12 am

Hello to you both.
I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant with number 3 after two pre-eclamptic pregnancies. My first was born in 2005 at 37 weeks following induction for severe PE. My second was born by emergency C section in 2006 at 33 weeks. I was NOT on aspirin for either pregnancy and the second time the Docs attitudes were basically don't worry it won't happen again! I was very stressed throughout the second pregnancy and felt ill throughout and lost some of the vision in my right eye post delivery.
Despite all of this I couldn't get the desire for a 3rd child out of my head or heart. I went to see an APEC consultant in 2009 who was great. She looked through all my old notes and gave me an approx. 50% chance of recurrence but also said that it is unlikely to be more severe than last time. It took my husband and I most of 2009 to gain the courage to try again. I had a missed miscarriage in March 2010 and was terrified that it was my last chance of another child (I am 37). However here I am at 16 weeks and starting to believe that my dreams might come true.
I have yet to see an obstetrician but have been on aspirin since fiinding out. I had to "fight" for a medical appointment as the midwife wasn't planning to refer me until 24 weeks!!!. I am due to meet the medical team at 18 weeks and just really hope that I feel better monitored and looked after this time.
Best wishes to you both. I understand what an agonising decision it is and only you will know when and if the time is right for you.
Jools.x
Back to top Go down
View user profile
thaiba2000
Forum Friend
avatar

Posts : 130
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 34
Location : Bedfordshire, Luton

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Mon 23 Aug 2010, 10:30 am

Hi Jools and welcome to the site. Congratulations on your 3rd pregnancy Smile and thank you so much for your post.
Wow, your children were more or less born at the same gestation as my children. Its nice to chat with someone who are on their 3rd pregnancy after having 2 pre-eclamptic pregnancies, its a horrible thing to have while pregnant but it gives us women who are craving for another baby some hope.

I remember BEFORE my 2nd pregnancy they were really certain that i wouldnt get PE again so i went ahead and got pregnant without even thinking about it. Next thing you know im diagnosing myself to my midwife with the classis symptoms of PE and got admitted to hospital.

Its not just the deciding to get pregnant again thats hard but i have this fear about wether i will be properly looked after or not. I mean alot of people get given certain vitamins or Low dose aspirin to have in their 2nd pregnancy after PE but they were just so sure i wouldnt have it again Crying or Very sad However i remember the specialist i went to see telling me that i now know enough about PE to know what care i deserve AND she has sent my GP a letter of what we spoke about in the appointment and what care i will require if i get pregnant again. I have a copy of that letter too so im very much prepared... its my husband whos being a little difficult right now but thats another story Rolling Eyes

Jools let us know how you get on. We are always here for you whenever you need us, thats what this sites all about.

Take care
Back to top Go down
View user profile
joolsw1
Forum Friend
avatar

Posts : 13
Join date : 2010-08-16

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Mon 23 Aug 2010, 10:41 am

Hi again,
I was given a letter by Catherine Nelson-Piercy regarding the type of care I should receive this time around and I have given copies of it to the midwife and will take one to my medical appointment. I feel kind of vulnerable when pregnant regarding demanding the type of care I am entitiled to so I am hoping that this letter will help.
My husband took a lot of "persuading"/discussion/time to agree to try again and is pretty scared but is covering it with a very positive attitude. I am the realist and just want assurance from my caregivers that they will take me seriously as and when the signs of trouble appear. I have the attitude that I expect to get PE again and have a BP monitor at home and will get some urine dipsticks soon.
At some point I had to grab a bit of courage and step into the unknown. I won't deny that I am scared but I also feel incredibly lucky to be pregnant and having another chance at being a mummy all over again.
Jools.x
Back to top Go down
View user profile
thaiba2000
Forum Friend
avatar

Posts : 130
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 34
Location : Bedfordshire, Luton

PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   Mon 23 Aug 2010, 4:00 pm

Awwww, Im so happy for you Jools. At the moment im thriving on succuss stories and you have given me hope. You mustn't worry about anything. I will pray that you have peace throughout this pregnancy. Im very sure that you wont have to demand any type of care because they should be following the PRECOG guidelines and giving you the appropriate care that PE sufferers need.

Do you know, im very VERY sure that my final decision will be to have another baby because i know i wont rest until i have one, all i need is my husband to chat to me about his feelings and views towards this. I wish he would just look into my eyes and tell me whats inside his head... Crying or Very sad I feel as though im constantly waiting for him to bring the subject up or atleast when i ask him something to say something back- tv seems to be more important to him right now. This is a phase im sure and it will pass.

Im so happy to see your post honey, i love to see someone-else have a 3rd Pregnancy after having PE twice...it means im not mad and there ARE other people out there who are like me...

Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....   

Back to top Go down
 
To get pregenant or not to get pregnant....
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» MANIFESTATION!!!!!! (pregnant - full term)
» had this dream I was pregnant, but no one could figure out how, when, or what it was
» Gave birth to a baby boy and I'm not pregnant (Starting to worry) Need Help interpreting this dream
» pregnant dream interpretation within a dream and buses and no money
» Pregnant in my dream

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Pre Eclampsia support :: Welcome to Pre Eclampsia Support Forum. :: Ask Liz. :: Ask Liz...-
Jump to: